The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

A married man’s best asset is … His ‘Lie-Ability’

My wife gives me sound advice: 99% sound and 1% advice

Wedding Rings – The world’s smallest handcuffs.

Husband: I need space … Wife: Join NASA

Wife to Husband: I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I felt incomplete until I married you. Now I’m finished.

All men are idiots, and I married their king.

All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.