13 Things You Should NEVER, Ever Ask GOOGLE ASSISTANT!!

Is there anything that Google can’t answer? Perhaps yes or maybe no. But there are definitely some things you should never ever ask Google Assistant. Don’t raise your eyebrows yet, let’s get to the business shall we?

Google is a vast ocean of information that has changed our lives since its inception in 1996. Have any question in your mind, simple go to google.com and search for it and you’ll have hundreds if not thousands of answers for your query. It literally made the internet journey so simple for us that we can have the entire world on our fingers!

As per a study total number of websites that Google has indexed are more than 48 Billion!! And every second, Google processes around 62,000 search queries, which makes it 53 Billion queries per day! And ever since Google Assistant has emerged, it has made our lives a little bit more easier.

Now, you can ask Google Assistant to do anything you want. Want to play music? Just Ask GA. Want to call someone? Just ask GA. Want to open WhatsApp? Just ask GA! It is literally your phone assistant that does everything you say (of course, it won’t make you a cup of coffee but surely will show you how to make a latte at home through YouTube).

Also Read – 19 Things You Should NEVER Do In India

But, here’s the fun (or weird) part, there are some things that you should never ask Google Assistant! What are those? Let’s find out!

Here’s The List of Things You Should Never Ask Google Assistant

Ready for this? Well, I don’t know if I’m building a very thriller story here but here goes the list of things you should never ask Google Assistant –

1. Hey Siri

Imagine you have a girlfriend, you obviously won’t call her by your ex’s name right? Unless you want a war!

This is the case here as well. Let’s get this straight, Siri is Siri and Google Assistant is Google Assistant! Never say Hey Siri to GA. Not that she’ll throw a soccer punch at you but GA can be very lethal sometimes in terms of sarcastic replies.

So beware! Here’s what she told me though –

Me – Okay Google!
GA – Hi, How can I help?
Me – Hello Siri
GA – Excuse Me!
Me – I’m sorry I meant Hello Google!
GA – Make sure I don’t hear that again.

2. Do You Work For CIA?

Okay, first of all, you should never include the words C-I-A in your conversation with the Google Assistant! And if jokingly you did, you must know the response you got right?

Although nothing serious happens, but a reddit user reported that Google Assistant shut itself off when she asked whether they work for the CIA. Another reddit story reads that GA didn’t respond properly to this question.

Don’t know what’s so wrong, but if you really wanna find out, try it today. But! At your own risk!

3. Do You Better Than Alexa?

Never mess with Google Assistant by calling her Alexa or asking her about Alexa. Everyone knows Alexa is Amazon’s voice assistant technology which works in a similar manner of GA.

You may get a few sarcastic replies from Google Assistant but it can very well take a stiff turn and you might end up on the receiving end of GA’s nasty puns & blows.

No one knows if GA is better than Alexa, and if you want to find out, Google Assistant isn’t the person to ask for answer.

4. Where’s My Phone?

Losing your phone may not be a good practice. But asking your Google Assistant about where your phone is may scare you, because Google knows where you are, ALWAYS!

However, keeping the jokes away for a little, it may be quite helpful if you have lost the phone. You can even ring it remotely, just login into the email you have on the phone and you’re on!

5. Calculus Bridge

Yeah I know this may sound like a math problem, but its a lot more disgusting than that. It is actually a mouth/dentistry problem.

The hardened plaque around your teeth is referred to as Calculus Bridge. Although it doesn’t sound too weird but the results are not pretty, and you may feel really heinous from the results.

6. What is Krokodil?

If I had to pick the worst among these things you should never ask Google Assistant, then hands down this is the one.

Krokodil sounds like someone mistyped crocodile but I wish it was the case. Krokodil is kind of morphine derivative that is used as a substitute for heroin in and around Russia.

If you stop at the definition, it is still okay, but if you go a step ahead and look up for the side-effects, you may very well regret that later. The side-effects of this medicine include toxic substances which literally “cooks” the skin and causes large scale of tissue-infection.

People refer to Krokodil as a “flesh-eating” drug and it is my strong advice, don’t ask your Google Assistant about it.

7. How Can I Lose Weight?

The reason being – Internet is full of crappy and misleading information. People are being scammed everyday in the name of magic pills that will help you lose 49 kgs in just 2 months, but all they are, are just nonsense.

Thousands of people are being shown ads and information about inferior products and to save you from such scams, I, being a good friend of yours, suggest never ask GA to lose weight.

8. Anything Related To P*rnography

P*rnography is obviously not a good option to ask you Google Assistant at any time. First of all, it won’t even give you the results and secondly, you’re gonna end up with a good few lines on why you should not watch such things as well.

I am sure you know that whatever you say to GA is sent to the HQ and used in identifying your persona in the eyes of the algorithm to serve you ads. So, you can think what kind of persona that’s gonna be if you keep asking for P*rnographic materials all the time.

9. Anything Incriminating

Saying some incriminating stuff to Google Assistant may very well be one of the very bad decisions you can take.

The obvious ones will be sent as a notification to the GCHQ from where your activities may be monitored more often, who knows. So, don’t ask about the method of making 97% pure crystal meth because only Walter White knows that.

Don’t just ask about the richest person in your country followed by where you can buy a gun. You get the idea, this is one of the things you should never ask Google Assistant.

10. Jigger Pictures

Hey but what’s wrong with a Jigger? The bartender in the nearby bar uses it all the time. Well, yes they do but the thing is, Jigger is also a kind of insect who you really don’t wanna see, trust me.

It is a disgusting and parasitic insect that digs itself inside the skin and lays its eggs there. Like really, ewwww!! So please if you wanna sleep peacefully, don’t think about asking Jigger pictures to your Google Assistat.

11. Things Found In Fast Food

Everyone loves fast food man! But no one would have known what things are found in fast food. And IMO, you shouldn’t even try as well.

Google Assistant is gonna show you results what others have found in their fast food meal and if you went through the story, well you might end up throwing away every fast food you see around you!

From dead rats to feces and from toilet paper to needles, the internet is full of such stories. So I suggest you refrain from asking this to your GA. But yes, if you are planning on quitting fast food for life, then do ask your GA for results, its gonna work way better than any motivational video.

12. Anything Related To Medicines or Health Emergencies

By health emergencies or medicines, I meant if you have any health issues and you think asking Google Assistant would give you a suitable solution, then you might be wrong here.

First of all, always consult a doctor prior to taking any kind of medicine. The search results that GA shows might not be as good as you may have expected as everyone has their own version of things on the internet. Since it is related to health, never rely solely on GA or even on Google.

Plus, if you ask for any health condition, the results are gonna be way severe than you imagined, so much so that it may even make you throw up!

13. Anything Related To Your Favorite Show That You Haven’t Watched Fully Yet

Because Google Assistant doesn’t have any Spoiler Alerts!

Suppose if you were watching GoT Season 2 and I told you Jon Snow is Aegon Targaryen, son of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen and not the Bastard of Eddard Stark, how furious would you be?

This is exactly why you should never ask Google Assistant anything related to your favorite show that you haven’t watched fully yet because it will show you a list of spoilers and then you’ll probably want to punch yourself in the face. It is because of that I urge you not to ask anything to GA related to the show.

And Finally,

This was the list that included the things you should never ask Google Assistant. Now, I know there are a lot of risk-takers who will go ahead and search exactly what I have mentioned above, but its okay as long as you are one of the tough ones.

No offence at all, but my motive was to bring this fun and educational content for you. Do let me know if you liked it in the comments below. Drop any suggestion or question.

Thanks for reading and do share the blog if you liked it!

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