Husband Wife Jokes In English – 50 Super Hilarious Jokes

You know what keeps a husband and wife bond stronger? A touch of humour! Hello everyone this time your favourite entertainment site, Statusbyzz comes up with 50 Husband Wife Jokes in English that will crack your partner up.

We guarantee you that these husband wife jokes will definitely put a smile on your partner’s face. You can crack these jokes anywhere with your partner and believe me she will laugh out load.

The bond between husband and wife is always special support as it includes safety, understanding, and love for each member. These jokes are meant for entertainment only and not to hurt husband wife emotions or feelings.

We have served you the Adult Husband Wife Jokes before as well but that wasn’t enough! This is why, we are back this time with this brand new post.

If you feel good after reading till the end, do share this blog with your friends and colleagues so that they can enjoy quality humor content too. Let’s put some fun & entertainment in your life with these jokes.

Husband Wife Jokes In English

So are you ready for an ultimate dose of Husband wife jokes?? Here we go …

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Husband Wife Jokes In English

Son: What’s the difference between love and marriage?
Father: Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.

Wife: It’s our anniversary, darling. How do you suggest we celebrate?
Husband: With a minute of silence?

Wedding Rings – The world’s smallest handcuffs.

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

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I felt incomplete until I married you. Now I’m finished.

How was the word “Wife” coined?
They took the first two and the last two letters of “Wildlife”!

Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

I married Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

Never laugh at your wife’s choices.
You are one of them.

laughing friends

I asked my wife to let me know the next time she has an orgasm.
She said she doesn’t like to bother me when I’m at work.

When my wife and I argue, I always get the last word.
They’re usually, “I’m sorry. You’re right.”

Husband to Wife: I used to think I was indecisive, but after married I’m not too sure.

My wife let me remove all her clothes last night.
From the dryer.

Marrying someone for their good looks is like buying a house for the paint color.

laughing friends - 1

Wife to Husband: I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Wife: “Darling, can I go out in this dress?”
Husband: “Yes dear, it’s already dark out.”

Honey, do you think I gained weight?
No, I think the living room got smaller.

My wife told me to go and get something that would make her look sexy.
So I got drunk.

Husband: I need space …
Wife: Join NASA …

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Once you’re married, people stop asking about your sex life.
They know you don’t have one.

All men are idiots, and I married their king.

My wife and I share a sense of humor.
We have to.
She doesn’t have one.

I play the world’s most dangerous sport.
I disagree with my wife.

A friend of mine just got divorced.
He and his ex-wife split the house.
He got the outside.

Husband Wife Jokes In English - 3

My wife prefers to take the stairs, but I always take the elevator.
I guess we were just raised differently.

Wife: Let’s go out and have fun tonight!
Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.

My wife gives me sound advice: 99% sound and 1% advice

Wife: I’m pregnant.
Me: Hi, Pregnant; I’m Dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.

A married man’s best asset is … His ‘Lie-Ability’

Some More Husband Wife Jokes In English

If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your wife!

Marriage is when a man and woman become one.
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Marriage is full of surprises, but it’s mostly just asking each other, “Do you have to do that right now?”

All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.

laughing guy

Marriages are made in heaven.
But so are thunder and lightning.

When a newly married woman looks happy, we know why.
But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

Man: I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.
Friend: Why not?
Man: I don’t like to interrupt her.

I was emotional when I caught my husband looking at our marriage certificate.
Then I found out he was looking for an expiration date.

Full form of Wife:

Husband Wife Jokes In English - 5

I’m not a yes man to my wife—when she says no, I say no.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years.
Then we met

A wise man once said, “I don’t know. ask my wife.”

I’ve been in love with the same woman for 20 years.
If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.

Make love, not war, and If you want both, get married.

laughing couple

My spouse’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.

My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number?
I responded: Who is this?

The ideal marriage is between a deaf man and a blind woman.

Wife: “Undress me using your words only. I dare you.”
Husband: “There’s a huge spider on your bra.

Definition of honeymoon: A man’s last holiday before he starts working for a new boss!!

laughing donkey

To Wrap Up,

Phew that was quite a long! So that’s all from our side, we hope you enjoyed our Husband wife jokes in English. This was an effort made from our side to put a smile on your face, hope you enjoyed this collection of jokes that we have created for you.

If you liked the blog and laughed out loud at these jokes, please forward it to your friends on Twitter, Facebook, or WhatsApp. Please share any feedback you may have in the section below.

Now it’s your turn to share a funny husband-wife joke with us!

Also, Read – One Liner Relationship Jokes

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